Death by Tacos - a restaurant review

Once upon a time, back in the Stone age (20 years ago), my Handsome Buffalo worked in a very fine eating establishment. Some of you Metro Natives may have eaten there. It is known as......... Taco House. For years, I have heard stories, both from HB, and his sister, of their work experiences there, during their formative years (HB started working there when he was 13).

For years, HB and SIL have tried to get me to eat there. For years (nearly 12), I have refused. I have gone so far as to pick up a "to-go" order from SIL, but, well..... let's just say this is NOT a place for someone who values their intestinal Health. Makes the BIG "taco chain" seem like a world class, 5 star, gourmet restaurant. Having worked for the BIG Taco Chain in my youth, I certainly have no desire to eat in a place that is so drastic a decrement. And I thought that was the end of it.

Well, just the other day, Handsome Buffalo needed me to prove my love for him. He desperately wanted us, as a family, to go to Taco House for dinner. I could see how much it meant to him, and convinced myself to not be such a Food Snob, and let him have his tacos.

Now, don't get me wrong. I can eat tacos. I love homemade tacos, ADORE Del Taco tacos, and even eat at the BIG Taco Chain from time to time. But Taco House has never interested me. Kind of in the same way bamboo under the fingernails just doesn't sound like fun.

but I L-O-V-E Love my Handsome Buffalo. And he spoils me constantly, rarely asking for anything in return. Therefore, I really had no alternative but to smile, and not say anything alarming to the children, about what we were going to experience. And hey, I could be wrong, and they could be really good - after all, I had never eaten there, so how did I know?

We sat down, and I told myself the shabby building was not relevant - there's a place in P-town called Nachos that looks like a real dive, and is actually fantastic!

We placed our orders, and I chose Three Guacamole Tostadas. Tostadas are safe. You cannot mess them up if you try. And I LOVE guacamole.

And now I stand corrected. You CAN mess up tostadas. Especially when your guacamole comes from a #10 can, that was most likely opened in 1982. It SMELLED. And not in a good way. I kept my composure and took a bite anyway. Worse than it smelled. Luckily, the cook messed up and only made one tostada, rather than the three I'd ordered. I forced a second bite. THen I could go no further. So I stole a bite of LittleBit's taco. I think it was even worse. MiniMe ordered Nachos. I think the Nacho Cheese was opened before the guacamole.

I was nice, I didn't say a word to the girls, and didn't give my full opinion until after the meal. The girls each took one bite, and no more. And while they can be picky (as children often are), that wasn't the case this time. They literally tried, and could not force themselves to do it - and they had no idea, at this point, that I felt the same way.

HB ordered a smothered burrito. And a "queso chip" - that's a tostada shell spread with Nacho cheese. Even he had to admit the food was not good. He told MiniMe we would go to the grocery store and get some ingredients for real nachos.

I took the girls to the car, and HB stood in line to pay for our meal. He then came out, and we headed to the store. Within a few minutes, he started complaining of a sore stomach. Bordering on nausea.

As with most things, it was one of those, "gee, this seemed so great when I was a kid, but is a disappointment now" kind of thing.

But I gotta hand it to them. The place was PACKED. They have been (according to the printed menus) in business 49 years. They must be doing something right.

Of course, most of their clientele were clearly Walmartians, so that may explain it...........